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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?